We need to think of more applications for this. Immediately.

Actual Fans: Are They Necessary? (The Wall Street Journal)

Where to begin with all of the awesome in this article??

If you’ve ever showed up to a major sporting event only to be bummed out by the sight of empty seats, take heart. The Italians are on the case.

They’ve installed a wall of 10,000 vinyl fans in a soccer stadium. Seriously.

From Marco Cernaz, general manager of the team that thought this might be a good idea:

“We’d love to have a full stadium with real supporters. And we’ve done everything we can to get people through the gates. But the reality is that we can’t. This way at least we create a bit of atmosphere, a bit of theater.”

Because that’s what soccer needs: a bit of theater. I watched the World Cup this summer. It’s all theater. Well. Except for the parts that are dumb rules and stupid officiating. Theater, dumb rules, and stupid officiating. Oh. And very good looking men. Very good looking men. It’s your only saving grace, soccer.

Before we go, a quick shot at the Wall Street Journal, which selected the following as its tag line for this article:

Fed up with empty seats, an Italian soccer team tries a novel idea: Disguise them as people.

I know you’re not a sports rag, WSJ, but come on!!! Go out to the street and ask the first person you see for one adjective to describe a proposal to install a wall of fake fans in a stadium that’s struggling with attendance. I guarantee that “novel” will not be the word they choose.

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