As some of you know, I’ve given myself until my birthday to continue sucking as a human being. Then I’m going to make some changes! Just you wait: I expect to be a brand new and really pretty fucking amazing person by around April 15th. Until then, though, I’m going to continue working about 15 hours per day, most productively between the hours of around 11p.m. and 5a.m. I’m going to sleep till noon. I’m going to require a nap and a second cup of coffee sometime in the 6-8p.m. window. I’m going to wash dishes and clothes only as I need them. And I’m going to keep writing these lame “roundup” posts because it’s all I’ve got time to do.
- Barney’s hired the Two-Face Girl. Those of you who read my blog with any regularity likely know more about the staffing situation at Barneys than you ever thought you would. I certainly know more about the staffing situation at Barneys than I ever thought I would. Most of my news has been about Simon Doonan because, let’s face it, in the perfect world, all news would be about Simon Doonan. But the company just hired a new guest editor and stylist, and um … how do I put this nicely? Have you ever seen that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry’s date is only pretty in certain lighting? Am I right, or am I right?? (Okay, so that wasn’t exactly nice, but it was accurate.)
- New favorite person alert, part the first: Tom Ford! My favorite thing about serious fashion people is that they are hard core. It’s as if they so fully embody stylishness and beauty that they cannot fathom putting anything less than complete effort into one’s presentation of oneself. To wit, the first of designer Tom Ford‘s five lessons on how to be a modern gentleman, as told by AnOther magazine:
You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world, because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.
I love that. It’s so classy. (Also classy: Lesson #3 on manners: “I always make sure [women] are walking on the inside of the street.” Swoon.) It all sounds so civil: Put effort into your presentation. Work hard toward something you care about. Have manners. And then, of course, there’s this:
A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or the beach.
I mean, seriously. If I felt like this guy was full of shit, I’d want to knock him around a little. But you get this sense he’s the real deal. And I love that, even though the idea of men restricting their shorts-wear to the tennis court is so quaint that I almost just keeled over from the preciousness of it all.
- New favorite person alert, part the second: Christian Louboutin! When fashion people get really awesome, though, is when we reach that exquisite place where something that is completely absurd to the average person is completely normal to the fashion person. What exactly do I mean by that? Why don’t we ask Christian Louboutin. He of the iconic red-soled shoe (and the trippiest fucking website ever). A man for whom, a recent New Yorker profile tells us, “Shoes are less interesting for their physical properties than for their psychological ones.” A subscription is required to view the full profile, but New York Magazine’s fashion blog, The Cut was kind enough to give us this gem:
I hate the whole concept of comfort! It’s like when people say, ‘Well, we’re not really in love, but we’re in a comfortable relationship.’ You’re abandoning a lot of ideas when you are too into comfort. ‘Comfy’—that’s one of the worst words! I just picture a woman feeling bad, with a big bottle of alcohol, really puffy. It’s really depressing, but she likes her life because she has comfortable clogs.
It’s completely ludicrous, but it’s completely authentic, which makes it kind of awesome. This is Christian Louboutin. The man doesn’t make coffee runs in his pajamas. The idea that any of us do probably causes him actual physical pain. And I love that. Because most of us just plain don’t have the energy for it. I love that there are people in the world for whom beauty and presentation are essential enough parts of their being that it’s worth the effort.
What’s also great is that our man Christian Louboutin wants us all to feel beautiful. You don’t get the sense he’s limiting himself to actresses and models. The The Daily Mail gives us another quote from the New Yorker profile:
When a woman buys a pair of shoes, she never looks at the shoe. She stands up and looks in the mirror, she looks at the breast, the ass, from the front, from the side, blah blah blah. If she likes herself, then she considers the shoe.